a mediocre life

Urban goatherd, social medium, pop culturist.
Straight, white, middle-aged, male.
Autism, anxiety, OCD.


b!X Frankonis is a twenty-year resident of the Portland of Oregon; born straight, white, and male forty-eight years ago in rural upstate New York.

Combining autism, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder with introversion and a devout agnosticism, he aspires at least to be a passable humanist. Viewing cynicism as but frustrated optimism, resulting only from first believing people are capable of better and too often then being proved wrong, he believes this is why the small, every day courtesies matter.

Once he was a slow dog, with his see-through skin. The kind of skin you can see through.

He neither bikes nor dances nor dates nor drives nor drugs nor sexes nor swims, although, leaving on which ones to your imagination, he is open to negotiation. He does, occasionally but with an increasing rarity, drink. Since the death of his father, he no longer smokes. He still has most, but most assuredly not all, of his teeth; ask him about his fetching dental appliance.

If events were pictures and emotions were sounds, his memories would play as silent movies.

Rolling Stone felt compelled to call attention to his “long black eyelashes” and “face that sees very little sun” while deeming him “a kid from upstate New York with a quick wit”. A public relations professional said he was a “sissy”. Bruce Sterling referred to him as a “punk”. Joss Whedon technically once might have described him as “twitchy, unreliable-looking”.

As a child, he wanted to become an outer space moving van driver. As an adult, he is not one.

By the Oxford English Dictionary definition of “slack” as the amount of time in critical path analysis by which a particular event may be delayed without delaying the achievement of the overall objective, he considers himself a slacker. To this day he has yet to determine the overall objective.

For seventeen years he owned a cat named Scully. Now he owns a cat named Meru.

His decades of passing accomplishments include the pioneering Internet petition against the Communications Decency Act; the worthwhile cybercafe failure of the Millennium Cafe; the celebrated stand-alone journalism of Portland Communique; the landmark fundraising creation of Can’t Stop the Serenity; the surprise uncovering of and research into the WWII shipyard workers zine The Finger; the moderate creative success of a three-year photography hobby; the management of video contest submissions for the DVD release of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog; the publishing of his late father’s novels under the Myrln Books imprint; and surviving many years in the wilds of various movie and television fandoms.

Today, he is project manager for The Belmont Goats, Portland's nonprofit resident herd, offering an oasis of rural community amidst the built, urban environment.

He strongly suggests helping to bring both equality and mercy to a world forever in too much need of them.


b!X spends his time on Twitter and Instagram.
He'll suffer your email. He won't take your phone call.